shallowobsession

awwsomeways:

This is still related to Shallowobsession’s recent post of Love’s rules.

My mom repeats old sayings to me like mantra. It never clicked at the back of my mind - the lightbulb was never on - what they meant, until recently.

My mom always said:

1. Give kindness in appropriate amounts, never go beyond your limits. It really means: don’t be too kind. Love yourself and don’t think about pleasing everybody. Don’t try so hard for everyone to like you. If you’re a naturally good person, there will be people who like you and dislike you. It’s only natural that you have friends and enemies. My mom also said, you don’t go looking for enemies, but if they knock on your door, face them without fear.

2. It’s always better to marry someone who’s crazy about you and not necessarily someone you’re crazy for. I always disagreed with this advice. Because I think I could never marry anyone that I’m not crazy for. But the real meaning of this advice is actually: ‘never really show that you’re crazily in love with your boyfriend or hubby, because they will take advantage’. Of course, you can show them you love them, but don’t make them think you’re in too deep with them (even though you actually are in too deep, never ever show it!)

Many women that I know, show love by being possesive/controlly. By discussing every little tiny beety thing with the Bf/Hubby, by ‘sharing’ every darn feeling she has with him, by reminding him everyday that he’s got this or that appointment, by showing she’s jealous with the exes or other women in his life. These are showing too much love. These for him are motherly love and too boring.

3. Always remember someone’s kindness. My mom repeated this like a broken record, and I think that’s because she’d known I understood the meaning only partially. What she really meant was: before you start hating someone, because he/she did/said this or that to you, you have to remember their kindness. Do these people even have kindness in their hearts? Towards you? Towards others?

If you cannot recollect anything good/kind about them, it’s ok for you to start avoiding them. It’s ok to get rid of people with bad influence, people who only suck your kindness but never give back in return. But before you start avoiding anyone, remember their kindness.